| I didn't have school today because it was sleeting this morning. Part of me is glad but it gets kind of boring over here. If my sister had gone to her friends housei could of done something like invite a friend over..... But yea thats about it...... nothing exciting happened... other than my choir concert getting cancelled...... oy...... |
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| It has been a long ass time since I last updated...... Sorry guys.... Didn't have internet til a few days ago. A lot has gone on.... I had a bf and we broke up... I dont even know why we broke up... but it doesnt matter anymore... It happened awhile ago... all i can say is shit happens! Well yea..... I'll update later today or tomorrow..... love ya |
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| Ok, things are going crazy in my life. This one of the reason's I havent updated in awhile. Sorry guys! Oy, Sometimes I feel like I just need to run away from everything but inside I always know better, even if i choose not to admit it. This is a day where I just want to get away, have a me day, no one else, I may be selfish sometimes, but I'm constantly doing things to help others and I need to sometimes just give it a break and figure myself out. I help others because I like it and its a way to run from my own problems. I need to stop running away and just figure them out, but to be truthful I'm dead scared of my problems. They have been there since I was really young. I hide so much from my friends and they are the ones I should be telling, they are the ones who have been there for me and I guess lying to them saying oh everything is ok is very wrong. I'm sorry Katie, TK, Seth, Joanna, Kyle, Jeremy, Jeff, Paul, Phillip so on and so forth.Today day I looked at myself with this anger inside that I try to not show but I lose it sometimes. My biggest weakness is my fear of actually knowing myself. I tell people things are just fine, I smile, I laugh, I say things are ok for the most part, and if I say things arent ok I wont let people know whats wrong because I don't feel worth it. I feel that I need to hide for people to actually like or care for me and I know that is incorrect. I know that I act like a bitch and I regret it. I hate who I am because I am truly not happy and I hate it. I need to just let go of things and I know this, because all my laughter has been a cover for years. I used it to keep away from my real feelings about life. People never really get to know me. There are a few people who actually know who I am and they are Katie, Paul,. and Jasmine. A couple other people know the just of me but not the whole thing. I regret hurting all the poeple I ahve hurt and I wish I could take back a lot of the things i have said or done, but I can't. I am so sick of playing a game with myself. I just need to stop and I just needed to put this down for my friends to rad and see what I wasnted to tell them all. I love you guys, you are one of the few things that keep me alive and thank you for it. I hope you can forgive me for being the way I have been. |
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|  here is me and my friend Demetrius... the guy I like, well in this picture he isnt much of a guy........... too bad the lipstick wore off....... yea it was crossdress day atmy school so dont be worried...... |
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| look at the curlyness lol
haha worship the curls lol j.k im not retarted...!!! ok leave comment on what you think....
Love you's Sarah |
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